


where the mockingbirds lay

by itisjosh



Series: onlypain [38]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Fear of Death, Fluff, Gen, Ghost Wilbur Soot, Ghosts, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Music, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Singing, can you even call it fluff??, ghostbur angst babey, idk its not As Sad as it could be, youre welcome :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28695714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh
Summary: "I don't want to die," Wilbur whispers. "I don't want to die, Phil, I don't want to die. I'm scared, Phil, please- please don't make me go. Please don't kill me, please don't.""Hey, it's okay," Phil puts the sword on the ground, kicking it away from him, sending it scattering across the cave. "I'm not going to hurt you, Will. I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to do. I'm not going to make you leave. I promise."
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson
Series: onlypain [38]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027711
Comments: 6
Kudos: 233





	where the mockingbirds lay

The shrine sits right in front of them, looming over everything. Brewing stands line the makeshift walls, TNT standing by the front of it. Buttons are everywhere, and in the centre of the shrine sits a salmon, swimming freely back and forth in the small amount of water that it has. Wilbur feels uneasy as he stands there, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably. He wishes that he had Friend, he wishes that he had his sheep, something to cling onto, something soft and warm. Friend rivaled all of his inner feelings, the constant cold that burrowed itself into his chest ever since he died. Wilbur looks over his shoulder, watching as the trio who brought him here watch him carefully. Wilbur turns back, swallowing down his fear, watching as the salmon continues to swim, never looking at him. 

No one seems to want to look at him anymore. Wilbur doesn't know why, he doesn't know what he did wrong. He has vague ideas of what he did, but he still doesn't know, because no one will tell him. No one ever tells him anything, and Wilbur doesn't understand why. Wilbur wishes that he knew, he wishes that he knew how to repent and how to make things better, but he doesn't. He clutches his jumper tightly, gripping the sleeves even tighter, clinging to the semblance of warmth that it gives off. "So.." he turns back to look at the people behind him, offering a nervous smile. "Is this where it all happened? I don't remember it looking like this."

"Well, no," Eret admits. "Not quite like this, but.." he shrugs. "It was destroyed. I did my best to restore it to my fullest abilities," he beams, dipping his head. His sunglasses slide down his nose, and Wilbur catches the white, glowing eyes that rest behind them. He blinks, looking back to the shrine, feeling even more unnerved. "So, what do you think? Does it jog any memories, make you feel a certain way? Do you remember what happened here?"

"Oh, yes!" Wilbur nods, glancing over his shoulder to face Phil. "Phil stabbed me, he killed me here," he beams, even if it makes his chest hurt, even if it makes his stomach churn with unease. "I remember dying very well, Eret," Wilbur pauses, frowning when he says the words. "Wait, is.." he looks back to the shrine, watching as the buttons mock him, watching as they stare back at him with judgemental eyes. "What kind of ritual are you going to do to me? What's going to happen here? What's going to happen to me?" He frowns even more, feeling his hands start to shake, feeling-

There's a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he looks over, staring at Phil. "Here," Phil slips off his necklace, and Wilbur stares at the blue that swirls inside of a crystal that hangs off of the necklace. He grips it tightly, running his fingers over the smooth rock, closing his eyes. "Have some blue, yeah? Calm down, you'll be fine. Eret," Phil's hand never leaves his shoulder, never leaves from its place there. "You didn't tell him? You just decided to get him here?" Eret sighs, and Wilbur pretends like he doesn't hear that. "Christ, Eret," Phil sighs. "Will, do you wanna just sit down for a few seconds?"

"Okay.." Wilbur looks away, staring at the crystal in his hands. He runs his thumb over it multiple times, closing his eyes as he rocks himself back and forth. "Phil, I don't like it here. I don't like this place. It..reminds me of him, of.."

"Of who?" Phil frowns, tilting his head to the side. "Who does it remind you of, Will?" 

"Him," Wilbur murmurs. "Alivebur, the man before me. The man who- who did all of this, who hurt people. I don't like it here." 

"Maybe we shouldn't keep him here," Ranboo murmurs, his voice almost too soft for Wilbur to pick up on. "If it's making him this sad, he shouldn't be here. Who knows what'll happen if he's upset? I don't want him getting hurt."

"Him getting hurt is the only way to bring back Wilbur," Eret whispers back, although Wilbur can still hear him. "You know how you said that you wanted to come back, right, Wilbur?" Eret asks, a friendly smile on his face, although Wilbur wishes that he'd stop. He wishes that he wouldn't smile at him. "That you wanted to stop being Ghostbur?" 

Wilbur shakes his head. "I didn't say that, did I?" 

"You did," Eret presses. "You said-" 

"Let him calm down," Phil moves back up the stairs, crouching down in front of Wilbur. "The plan was to bring you back to life," Phil tells him, his voice the calm among the storm in Wilbur's head. "And to do that, Eret thought that we would have to reenact your death where you died. You did tell me that you wanted to come back as yourself, that you didn't want to stay as Ghostbur," Wilbur blinks at him, frowning. "We don't have to, though," Phil assures him. "We don't need to." 

"No, I can..I can do it," Wilbur stands up, breathing out. He clutches the necklace in his hand, wishing that he'd stop feeling so cold. "I can do it, if that's what you want me to," Wilbur looks at Phil, tilting his head to the side. "Do you want him to come back? Do you want him instead of me?" 

Phil smiles at him. "You're my son, either way. Whatever you want is what I want." Wilbur nods, taking a deep breath. 

"Just..make it fast, please? Wait, do I..okay, okay," Wilbur breathes out, turning around, facing away from everyone. He stares at the buttons, watching as the mock him, taunting him. "There- there was a saying once, by a traitor," Wilbur recites, not entirely sure why the words come so easily to him. "It was never meant to be," Wilbur laughs, reaching out, pressing his palm against the button. "Kill me, Phil," he turns back to look at his dad, feeling panic flare up in his chest. "Kill- kill.." he feels his heart start to race, feels his body start to shake. He feels cold, he feels so cold, he..

Wilbur doesn't want to die.

He drops to the ground, shaking and clutching his jumper. "I don't want to die," Wilbur whispers. "I don't want to die, Phil, I don't want to die. I'm scared, Phil, please- please don't make me go. Please don't kill me, please don't." 

Wilbur feels his heart pound in his chest, he feels himself shake even harder. He doesn't want to die, he doesn't want to die, he doesn't want to die. Phil is going to kill him, Phil's going to kill him again, and Wilbur doesn't want that, he wants to be okay and he wants to stay here and he-

"Hey, it's okay," Phil puts the sword on the ground, kicking it away from him, sending it scattering across the cave. "I'm not going to hurt you, Will. I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to do. I'm not going to make you leave. I promise," Phil crouches down in front of him, his eyes soft. "You'll be fine, Wilbur. You don't have to go anywhere," he glances away, breathing out. "Do you want me to sing to you? I used to do that all the time, when you were younger." 

Wilbur shuffles forwards, wrapping his arms around Phil, resting his head on his dad's shoulder. "What songs did you used to sing?" He asks, his voice barely above a whisper. "Do you- do you know the anthem, Phil? I wrote that, I wrote it. I wrote the anthem for L'manberg, I..I really like that, I like that song. It's..nice." 

"Of course, I remember you telling me about it. Well, I heard there was a special place," Phil whispers, and Wilbur feels calmer, safer. Phil's voice, his embrace, it reminds him all of blue, all of the way that blue makes him feel. "Where men could go and emancipate, the brutality, and the tyranny, of their leaders," Wilbur hums along with the words, feeling himself sway gently. "Well, this place is real, you needn't fret, with Wilbur, Tubbo, Tommy, fuck Eret.." Wilbur feels the tears slowly stop, not evening realising that he had been crying. "You okay, Will?" 

Wilbur breathes out, listen to Phil's heartbeat. "You promise you won't make me go? I don't want..I don't want to go. I don't want to leave, I'm..scared, I'm scared, Phil. I'm really, really, scared."

"It's fine," Phil tells him. "You don't have to go, you're not going to go. You'll stay right here, you're not going anywhere. You know what we should do?" Phil helps him up to his feet, holding him steady. "Let's go find Friend, yeah? I'm sure he's around here somewhere." Wilbur beams at him, raising his hands to wipe away his tears. His heart calms, and he feels his head stop screaming at him.

"Okay," he smiles. "I'm..sorry, for the..for..for-"

"Nah," Phil shakes his head, smiling at him. "You've got nothing to be sorry for, Will. Don't worry about it. Let's just go find Friend, okay? Then we can go back home to Techno's house, and everything'll be okay, just like normal," Wilbur nods, stumbling a little as they start to walk. He takes one last look back at the shrine, back at where he died. He can see himself standing there, crazed eyes and a wide smile. Wilbur forces himself to look away, feeling his hands start to shake again. "Will, hey," Phil nudges him gently, stopping him in his tracks. "Nothing is going to happen to you, okay? We don't have to come back here if you don't want to. I'll tell Eret to burn it down, yeah? It'll be like it never even existed in the first place." 

Wilbur smiles, ducking his head. "That..would be nice, yes. Do you..miss him, Phil? I'm sorry that I'm not the same." Phil smiles back at him.

"You're my son, Will. You've always been my son. So long as you're happy, well," he turns away, shrugging. "Then that means I'm happy. Come on, I doubt you wanna keep talking about this. Let's go and find Friend." 

Wilbur walks alongside his father, feeling the weight of the world slowly leave his shoulders. 

~~_Though he can't help but feel the disappointment from the two people who sit at the back of his mind._ ~~


End file.
